Just a ramble

The reality of being back at university has hit me hard. The workload over the next year is, to say the least, gigantic. I suddenly feel very unsure of myself. I'm trying to familiarise myself with things that used to be second nature to me but are now very foreign. Being back in class yesterday was a huge slap round the face. Everyone was chatting away in German whilst I cowered in the corner. My confidence has taken such a nosedive. It's unsurprising really when you think I've been away for 3 years but then I never was that good at my languages. The choice to study them at university was always a daft one. I remember my German GCSE teacher encouraging me to continue with the subject at A-level - up until that point the thought had never even crossed my mind. Sixth form was such a messy blur and before I knew it I was off to study Spanish & German at degree level. It was a stupid decision. I don't have the confidence or skill to speak a foreign language. All the same I am determined to graduate at the end of this year. Chances are I will merely scrape a pass but you know what? I couldn't give a damn. The fact I am alive and well enough to even attempt this feat is an achievement in itself. Next July I will collect my degree, I will throw my cap in the sir and I will attend the Grad ball.