Happy Birthday Sarah!!

Happy Birthday Miss Robertson! I hope this new age brings you a new chapter of life & happiness. (I believe this is my sixth birthday wish now....whatsapp, facebook, twitter, youtube video, blog & card!!!!) I think I'll stop now but I hope you got the message :) xxx

Baking...friend or foe?

I need to get my baking hat back. When I was at my most ill I could ALWAYS be found rustling up some sweet delicacy. The trouble was  I refused to eat any of it. I would spend hours perfecting a cake I would never taste. Personally back then I enjoyed cooking for others - I still do. I know people say this is typical of someone suffering from an eating disorder but I genuinely do get a lot of pleasure from seeing others enjoy something I have made for them. During treatment it was drummed into me that this was 'disordered behavior' and one that was best left behind. So that's what I did. I can't remember the last time I had a good baking session. I did a little over Christmas but that was mostly simple biscuits. Not the elaborate cupcakes I used to make. I really want to whip out my old recipes but I'm worried that it may trigger something. Hmmmmm...

Why I love my body

This post was inspired by my therapist who asked me to name things I love about my body. I found it in my journal...without a doubt it was the hardest thing I've ever written.

I love my hair because it's auburn. It's strong and healthy and stands out in a crowd.

I love my eyes because they are totally unique (grey and gold!)

I love my freckles because they get kissed by someone special (especially the one on my nose!)

I love my arms because they allow me to hug the people I love and although the scars upset me they are a daily reminder of what I've accomplished.

I love my stomach....even after a 3 course meal. Stomachs are not meant to be concave!

I love my bum (FINALLY AFTER 24 YEARS!)  It's curvy and round and has only ever been paid compliments. Now it's time I paid it a compliment too.

I love my legs. Yes they're short but they look good in heels. Whats more they allow me to walk, run, dance...

I love my size 3 feet. Shoes galore in the sales!

If I was thin I would be happy
I don't need to be thin in order to be happy

If I had a boyfriend I would be happy
I don't need a boyfriend in order to be happy

If I got the top marks I would be happy
I don't need the best marks in order to be happy

If I was perfect I would be happy
I don't need to be perfect in order to be happy

A weekend of highs and lows

This weekend has been a roller coaster of emotion and realisation that I NEED to take check and slow-down. Four weeks of excessive partying and late nights do not bode well for recovery. Nothing 'bad' has happened but I know if I continue down this path things will go sour. I seem to behave at times like I'm invincible- studying all day, partying all night, exercising inbetween and eating the bare minimum. Not the greatest combination for someone recovering from an eating disorder.The fact I recognise this is a positive.It means I can address things before they get out of hand. I just need to have a healthy balance. Like they say 'everything in moderation.....'

Time for a coffee break

Daydreams and Reality: How aware are you?

Daydreams and Reality: How aware are you?: Did you know? 1 in 4 people will suffer from a mental health related illness at some point in their lives. Tomorrow (Monday 10th Oct...